The struggle between immortalizing a moment and letting it fade away is constant. Whether it’s taking a video at a concert or writing down a memory, there’s a lot of pressure to stay in the present. On Jan. 7, 2014, however, I opened a brown journal and wrote “I had a great day.” And so it began. A documentation of almost all four years of my high school career.
Journaling has been positive for me because I am able to remember some of the best and worst moments of my life. I can see exactly what I was thinking and know what I was feeling. The details have allowed me to remember the moments and relive the feelings I felt during those times.
Without my journal, some happy moments of my life would be gone forever. I would have no recollection of the time in which my public speaking class chanted my name after I finished my speech, only to be quickly shut down by Mrs. Steers.
On the other hand, without journals, some of my more tragic memories would be blocked out, such as the time when I arrived to Chipotle only to find it was closed for a boil water advisory. Furthermore, the sadness I felt after losing my tennis match at the States is captured in my journal, and that entry serves as motivation to work harder during this season.
Without my journals, I also would forget the bizarre moments of my life. For example, when I was at a music festival and met a woman named Sunny Rae who was “on god know what,” and her 400 pound friend accidentally fell on my sister and me. Or when there was a Code Red drill, and I described it as an “out of body experience.”
Beyond the simple enjoyment of reminiscing, documenting my time in high school has allowed me to see my growth. I am able to track who I was friends with, what music I was listening to, my reactions to current events (including the blue/black vs. white/gold dress), and my stress levels in school. I can see how I handled different situations and compare it to how I behave now.
Although I know my past self is not my better self, I can still learn from what I wrote my freshman or sophomore year, and I am always pleasantly surprised by the insight some journal entries can offer to my current situations.
During senior year, I have definitely spent less time journaling, but I still make a conscious effort to preserve pieces of my life without sacrificing my ability to live in the moment. I have primarily achieved this through recording a one second video each day that I combine on the app 1SE. It allows me to have clearer memories of each day, and it’s always exciting to return to past days to see my life at a glance.
Overall, I’m pleased by the balance I struck between documenting a moment and living in it.