There’s nothing to compare
May 27, 2018
For those of us who have an older sibling, it’s hard to avoid constant comparison from teachers, peers, and even ourselves. For me, my older sister was a daunting figure I felt like I could never live up to. She always seemed smarter than me and that stressed me out like nothing else could. Being only two years older, everything she did, I did two years later and seemingly not as well…it got a little old.
Swimming alongside her only amped up my competitiveness. We swam all the same events and she was always better than me in one. I took almost all the same classes as her and every class she forewarned as “easy” somehow seemed impossible to me. I often felt like a lesser academic and athlete.
Senior year rolled around, the college application to do list piled on, and the list of schools I was applying to was almost entirely opposite from my sisters. She applied to ivy leagues and the schools I was looking at didn’t even compare, though I would have been more than happy attending any of them. The only common factor we shared was our top choice. I found myself constantly doubting my own capabilities. I couldn’t bring myself to even consider the possibility of my own acceptance into the same school she goes to. But when my letter finally came with the big words “welcome home” my self doubt quickly vanished. I soon realized that despite our differences, it didn’t matter. I am no less of a student or athlete than she was in high school. The subjects that appealed to me were difficult for her just as the ones she enjoyed, I hated. Ultimately, our differences are what each helped us stand out as individuals in our own application processes.
I learned to never doubt myself and never compare myself. Everyone is different, even siblings, and comparisons do nothing to help. We may be attending the same school again next fall, but our paths to get there have no intersections. We took different routes, and neither of us are any less happy. Older, seemingly more intelligent, siblings can be awfully daunting. But there’s no reason for that; its a result of your own imagination. So to my fellow intimidated younger siblings, don’t doubt yourself and never compare yourself. Your paths will likely be different and that’s a very good thing. No one wants to be a carbon-copy of their older sibling.