Why the entire United States is a horrible place to live


Sophie Sears, Business Manager

As much as we all dread sub-zero winters and icy roads, long winters are the extent of the extreme winter that plagues Michigan.

As seen in the news, California is currently engulfed in flames. Not only is all of northern and southern California burning, but the state also suffers from earthquakes with almost 15-20 earthquakes that cause a substantial amount of damage each year. Sounds like a pain to live there. If I were to choose between the burning alive and the freezing cold I would probably go with the latter.

Then we look at Arizona-Nevada, California’s neighboring states. These guys never have water and are basically trying to mooch off Michigan for our Great Lakes. No one likes moochers.

Next we move into the Kansas-Nebraska midwest region, deemed “the tornado alley.” This one explains itself. Don’t live here. It’s boring anyways.

The south, particularly Florida, also called “God’s waiting room” because so many old people live there, has its own issues.

Not only are they constantly hit by hurricanes, but it is being taken over by invasive species. They have a huge boa constrictor problem and who wants to worry about snakes making their way into their homes, or worse, old people? Not me. 0/10 recommend Florida.

Next we have the east coast. It has severe winter storms and hurricanes. They have the worst of both worlds.

Back to Michigan, and upon further consideration I have realized how much our winters truly suck.

Because of this, I recommend moving somewhere with more all-around mild weather. Moral of the story, move to Spain.