A chronic trail of disappointment and self-doubt characterized the first two years of my high school experience as I battled flimsy friendships and withering hope for better days. My junior year opened new doors in my life that set the foundation for a second chance to become someone my freshman self would have idealized. It would have been easier to reject this opportunity that I believed had surely been thrown on my shoulders by mistake. In an attempt to write my own redemption story,  I made a promise to myself before the start of my senior year: I would act boldly and not fear the possibility of failure. 

Being Editor-in-chief gave me the opportunity to act boldly and in turn, has made this year one of the most redefining years of my life. My lack of experience and damaged self-confidence led me to approach situations with intensity. My commitment to my own redemption story was a driving force behind a thirst for success. 

In the months leading up to the start of my senior year my resilient uncertainty and high expectations for myself condensed by an understanding of who I was and who I could never become. I thought about the text I would send to Mrs. Michell every day this summer to explain that I did not have it in me to be the person I thought I needed to be in order to fill this role. Thankful, I never got that far. 

When I think about this job I can almost convince myself that it was not important. Being editor-in-chief has consumed me for the past year and after I walk across a stage to get a piece of paper it will all be over. Frankly, not everyone realizes the countless hours I’ve put into prioritizing the success of this paper. Nobody saw the sleepless nights and tearful hours wrestling with my self-confidence as a leader and journalist. 

Breaking through my insecurities and self-doubt has led me to look past the caution tape I have always assembled around myself as a way of coping with preemptive failures. The promise I made to myself this year has propelled me throughout an impossible year. The promise to redeem my self-worth empowered me to be able to look in the mirror at a girl who through determination and commitment fought to be the person she never thought she could be. 

My story would not be one written in a single class period. Instead, in the course of painfully long class periods and countless hours of unwavering dedication to the end product. My story ends with the understanding of true commitment and a cosmic capacity for grace towards myself and others pending enviable mistakes that mark every interval of growth.