In athletics, where all kids grow up and their dreams take flight, there’s a silent but pervasive force that often threatens to overshadow the genuine joy of sports. The overbearing involvement of parents. I will be diving into my experience and exploring how too much parental involvement can make sports enjoyable and make competition not-so-friendly. From the obnoxious cheerleader on the sidelines to the players and the parents desperately seeking redemption through their child’s achievements.
I’ve been playing sports since I was 3 years old and have been around it my entire life being a coach’s and official’s kid. Luckily, I have parents who support me, let me make my own decisions, and stay in the background when it comes to sports. However, for a lot of other people, this is not the case. I’ve noticed the influence of parents in sports ever since I can remember. Parental involvement is important as it shows support and investment in the child. However, overbearing involvement often ruins the experience for kids.
Kids with over-involved parents often report less enjoyment of the sport, more stress and sometimes it leads to athletes quitting the sport altogether. I have observed instances where parents have jumped in and coached from the sidelines, giving their “tips” to the players. I’ve witnessed parents engaging in confrontation with referees, loudly arguing their opinions during their children’s games. Furthermore, some parents have gone to the lengths of trying to win over their child’s coaches, potentially through financial contributions, in pursuit of getting increased playing time for their kid. From what I’ve seen, there’s a whole range of these behaviors stemming from overly involved parents. The results of these are pretty clear and sadly, the effect is usually more bad than good. Unfortunately, some parents are not there simply to observe and enjoy their child’s performance, and they instead end up becoming the person everyone is talking about at the end of the game.
I have also seen parents who seem to be living vicariously through their kids and treat their kids’ experiences as their own. In certain instances, some parents may overlook the fact that it’s their child’s moment to shine, not their own. There are times when parents need a reality check to avoid placing unrealistic expectations on their children’s sports ability. Not every kid is going to be a star player or become a professional athlete. While you may have been a sports star in high school, it doesn’t guarantee the same outcome for your child. And I assure you, your child probably isn’t interested in hearing all your stories about how great you were at their age.
Parents can be there for your highs, lows, and in-betweens of a sports journey. It’s a great thing to see parents who are just there supporting and encouraging their kids. But oh boy, there’s a breed of parents who take cheering to a whole new level. I am talking about the ones who can’t resist turning the bleachers into their bragging podium. Did your kid win a game? Awesome! But we don’t need a play-by-play breakdown. It’s like they are the sports commentators broadcasting their child’s every move to an audience that is trying not to drown in a sea of statistics. Most people are here for the game, not that detailed analytics of your kid’s skill. Let the trophies speak for themselves, you don’t have to make the sports field a comedy show about your parenting.
Overall, over-involvement can be detrimental to an athlete. It not only affects their immediate experience in the sport but may hurt the long-term outcome for the athlete. Studies have shown that when this type of pressure is placed on kids, they tend to leave or want to leave the sport.
Most parents want the best for their athletes and don’t even realize they are acting as one of these parent “types”. When kids take the field, try not to be the screamer, the funder, or the parent living through your kid. Just enjoy their experience and let them enjoy the benefits of being involved in sports. It is one element of growing up that can lead to many benefits throughout a kid’s lifetime.
