Was it not just last week that I came to the high school for freshman orientation? Walking into EGRHS and seeing this building now as a student, it was a memorable feeling. No one was kidding when they said high school flies by and there’s something so bittersweet about it.

I feel as if the last three years were a race to this exact moment, and now all I want to do is to go back. I’m at the point in time where I wish I was younger but also wish I was older. A very confusing pivotal moment in my life.

This might be the one moment in my high school career that I feel present. In past years, I find myself looking into the future for satisfaction and happiness, trying not to get stuck in the rut of now. But now, I can sit here and write this in the pleasant bliss of now. The bridge will be built for me in the next few years. And now I’m enjoying the feeling of reassurance and relief.

The last thing I want this to be is glorifying senior year because to be completely honest, this has been one of the hardest years emotionally. Junior year has its ups and downs but senior year was always shown to be so amazing and stress-free when in reality it has been really really difficult.

Let me paint this picture for you. You are Rory as a Junior in high school with the worst procrastination habits. Therefore, you don’t have to “worry about” anything college-related until Senior year, right? (WRONG! But she didn’t know).

Now Rory is just beginning her Senior year, excited about all of the activities to come not worrying about any assignments or responsibilities until Nov. 1 rolls around and you have a big “oh shoot” moment.

All of this is because Rory didn’t want to face the “big girl” decision of becoming an adult. She wasn’t willing to accept the fact that everything she does sets her up for her life and knowing she would have to be independent. Growing up is scary.

Moral of the story, the beginning of my Senior year was confusing and stressful. I didn’t set myself up well and had no idea about college. It felt like decisions would be an eternity away. Not to mention the stress of trying to enjoy your last year ever in high school. For me, it’s been devastating.

Not only the work but knowing these memories will be the last ones you make. Each dance is your last, every school event is your last, and while a year ago I was jumping for joy over the fact I would be done, now it’s a little more bittersweet.

These have been your people for 12 years. Going to school and seeing everyone every day is all you know, and now you are facing a decision for the next four years of your life. And for me, being a 22-plus hour drive from home comes with a little anxiety.

It’s weird to grow up. But the biggest advice I would give to anyone in any stage of life is to allow yourself to be in the moment.

Don’t live in the comfort of the past, or the delusion of the future, just be in the now. Romanticize the now because, for all we know, tomorrow isn’t promised.

Allow yourself to go through the motions but have a purpose and make memories that can be told for generations to come. And sometimes you just have to do it scared.

Go out of your comfort zone to grow, and do it scared. Move 22 hours away from home, and do it scared. Apply to your dream school even if you think you will get rejected, and do it scared.

We all rely on comfort to get through life, but be different and do it scared. You will grow into yourself, make amazing memories, don’t take tomorrow for granted, and don’t wish your life away. Passing time is terrifying but it’s the greatest gift.